Tuesday, March 16, 2010

New-age Ramayana

A young second generation Indian-origin boy in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something.... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so..... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man.....they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok....

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home.... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also....so it was pretty cooool.... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding..., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

The mother fainted..

15 comments:

Aakash said...

Dear Sir,

We must give this a name. Like the Adi Ramayana, the Kamba Ramayana, the Krittivasa Ramayana, we can have the Yo! Ramayana.

With regards,

Aakash

Suvro Chatterjee said...

How utterly appropriate, Aakash!

Unknown said...

Dear sir,
you correctly pointed out it’s the new age Ramayana or should i say it’s Ramayana remixed. The elder brother made a record of sorts by narrating the entire Ramayana in just three paragraphs. It was just so hilarious and truly, anybody who is not insane would surely faint on hearing this version.
An article of great humour and entertainment but one can’t help wondering if this is the intellectual level of today’s youngsters, our future is surely at stake and are destined to be doomed. There is also another point to be questioned about: under what sort of parental guidance has this boy been brought up? I consider it is his parents failure not to have guided him properly through his upbringing. I understand kids in the US grow up in a completely different way in comparison to their Indian counterparts. But if this is the kind of respect and regard our youngsters have towards our great epics like Ramayana, whatever is left of our Indian culture, values and traditions will soon be forgotten.
Regards,
Avishek

Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,
I just wanted to point out that when in India people follow the Americans and use such language and are themselves ignorant about our own cultures ,how can we possibly blame the upbringing of this boy who has been brought up in America?

With regards
Aayushee

Suvro Chatterjee said...

Quite right, Aayushee!

In fact I posted this for my young Indian readers living in India to reflect upon. I certainly don't blame the ABCD (American born confused desi) for talking in that kind of language.
Sir

Shilpi said...

Hmm...I seem to think that Indians do the 'Amerispeak' far better than the regular American because I'm not sure which Americans these Indians are aping. Who is this ghostly American?

There are, I'm sure, some American college goers/teenagers here and there who do use Amerispeak (and it's not proper to mention which ones) much like this boy in the piece, and some who are verbally retarded and can't say much beyond four letter expletives for every one syllable word that they spout(poor things), and some use 'like', 'cool', and 'shit' a lot (I developed the unfortunate habit of using one of the mentioned words a lot within five months), and some 18-20 year olds can't spell - but for the most part I've come across very few real Americans who actually do the sickening 'Yo man, wassup?' performance. Maybe it has something to do with large cities and small towns. Are the Americans in larger cities going around doing the 'Yo man' routine? I somehow doubt it. I do cringe to think that I've actually heard more young Indians (and not even ABCDs but FOBs - 'Fresh off the Boat') use the 'Yo' and the 'Just chill maaan' than any American I've come across.

Subhra Das said...

Dear Sir,

By the end of the article I had tears in my eyes. Partly due the fact that I was amused at the so called 'modern' rendition of Ramayana and also due to the absolute ignorance that the Generation Next is suffering from. For them its only the malls, designer clothes, plush movie theaters and money that matter and for them knowledge about our culture and heritage is boring and 'low society'.
Regards,
Subhra

Shilpi said...

Hmm...
I was alarmingly amused and horrified for different reasons - but one of them being that the boy in the said tale (even if the whole tale is hypothetical) actually knew the story, and knew more than I did when I was 8. Because if you leave out the language he uses (which indeed does make one gasp because it is so outrageous) - one has to give the 'Yo-man' his due - and one has to admit that he's got the story pat down. I was actually wondering how many Indians know the story any longer....

...and which generation is Generation Now? What is our culture? If we're talking about culture - I wonder whether Generation Now instead of Generation Next has a better idea of what our culture itself amounts to. I, for one, would really like to know what Generation Now thinks about our culture...any responses?
Hmm.
Shilpi

Suvro Chatterjee said...

You have good reason to wonder, Shilpi, especially if you have the urban 'educated' elite in mind ... if you are thinking of how many people can tell the story even in an adequate thumbnail summary as this boy did. I can assure you 95% of my high-school going pupils cannot. Sure, give the devil his due. But I don't think it says anywhere in the post that the narrator was only 8! I should guess he was in his late teens...

Sayak Shome said...

It's a pity to see how the boy is making fun of the monkeys and behaving like one himself.

There's no doubt that the whole post was hilarious,right from the second paragraph to the end,but I think the last line was the biggest catch.

"The mother fainted.."

With all due respect to Frank R. Stockton,the end reminded me of "The lady, or the Tiger"

The question is why did the mother faint?
Did she see hanuman in his son?
Did she think that her boy is possessed and the thought of calling an exorcist made her faint?
Was she too happy to contain her feelings,thinking that at least her son knew the story,which she had least expected?
et cetera.

Sayak Shome

Unknown said...

It is a shame for us. Our ancestors have left us with such a rich culture. So many Americans come to India just because they want to learn about our culture and enrich themselves. Even then many Indians manage to leave behind the riches they have inherited and ape the Americans (They cannot even do that correctly). They did not lose the time, but the ability to reflect upon what others say and what they themselves say. If they had the ability they would have realized that they have made themselves objects to laugh at and make fun of.

Unknown said...

Sir,the story is short but is good and it's really a "New-age Ramayana."

Suvro Chatterjee said...

When we start mocking the finest legacies from our ancestors, and do that without even realising that we are merely demeaning ourselves, we have regressed to the monkey stage already.

Amritaksha Duttagupta said...

I have an audio cassette by the great comedian Bhanu Banerjee, and there I had heard this play, called 'Nabo Ramayan'.

After that hilarious audio play, in context to the Ramayana, this is the second best I have across.

Arunabha Dey said...

Sir, this was a good post. I would like to link this post on my blog!